And here we are again. Another very busy week. We've had some guests over this past week (and will continue to have some throughout the month of May). We do love to have guests! It's interesting because all of our guests are consistently males. I've been the lone female (except my partner in crime Baby Eden) for the past four months now (with the exception of three weeks when a couple came for a visit). This consistent "maleness" comes at an interesting time in my life. I'm a new mom, living in a new culture. I do wish I had more "femalely" support, but I know that He has purposed much learning for me to do in this unique situation. I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. Sometimes, I feel bad for feeling overwhelmed when I look at the woman around me who have like 8 kids, and I only have one. So, after doing some reading online of other moms I came to the conclusion- I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed, mothering is a 24 hour job. If I'm being the mom I desire to be for Eden, then that will take up all of my time. There's always a load of laundry that needs to be washed, always bibs to rinse out, always baby food to prepare. I shouldn't be so hard on myself if Eden's toys are lying all over or if the bedroom is a mess. What really matters is that Eden knows that she is loved and cared for. And that is my primary job. It's not something that can be checked off a to-do list. In fact, most days it would probably seem to outsiders that I'm not doing anything, when actually, I'm doing the absolute BEST thing for my daughter and husband.
Being a mom has been a profound pruning (spelling?- English is so silly) process. Before Eden arrived I could pretty much do things when I wanted to do them. Now, it's a horse of a completely different color. Having her has shown me how selfish I can be. I think of myself and my own needs so much. I throw ridiculous pity parties and refuse to find strength in Him. I'm grateful for this pruning, as painful as it may be some days. I hope through this I will become a better wife and a better mother.
I talked with Seth about feeling overwhelmed. He encouraged me to focus on being a good mother for Eden and not to worry about getting other things done. Hearing this from him was a huge blessing, and I felt like a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I am so incredibly blessed by my wonderful husband. Right now my job is to be Eden's mommy. I like being her mommy. She's so darn cute. And funny. What a goofy little baby. She gets really excited about playing with our mosquito nets and spends lots of time watching her hands move.
Ok, I feel like I didn't bring this post to a conclusion. I love my husband and I love my baby girl (and a lot of other people too). There, that's a conclusion. Now I'm tired and the mosquitos are trying to eat me. Nighty night.