It's our day of rest. About a year and a half ago we got serious about taking a day of rest. Every six days pass, and then this holy special one arrives on our doorstep. Sabbath. Papa Clarkson is strumming away on the guitar, Eden, is jumping on the couch, and Isaaq is enjoying his morning nap, and I sit, thinking and reflecting, my mind enjoying the break from the stresses of the week. My to-do list seems never ending, I'm always wiping bums or cleaning out training potties or some other glamorous mothering task, or finding a snack for hungry little bellies, or consoling a sweetie who's head has bumped into yet another piece of furniture. Their gentle demands are pressing, they need help, guidance, and instruction. It's hard being a mom ya know? It's a busy business. And, I'm trying to learn a new language with excellence, build relationships so I don't go insane (b/c nothing will send an extrovert to the looney bin faster than living without lots of personal interactions), make sure my kids are getting good social interactions, making sure I've prepared food for our 10 month old, bless my hubby, not be mean or edgy to him, keep in touch with dear ones back home, fill out papers, navigate a foreign culture, explain for the 50th time why my children have blond hair even though mine (and their daddy's) is brown- apparently mind boggling, figure out what to make for supper, try not to do/say anything ridiculously culturally offensive, etc... I read Proverbs 4:23 (Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life). Really? Somehow in the midst of this circus of life, my heart is the wellspring? My heart doesn't really look like a wellspring (I envision a nice little bubbling stream with little leaves and flowers floating lazily downstream on a cool spring morning-temperature around 74 F) ... more like one of those haboob thingys that hit Arizona. Or maybe a typhoon. That's my wellspring. Oh my.
If my heart is astray and pressed down with the worries of to-do lists and life my own soul is swept away. And no one sees the gapes within my heart better than my hubby and sweet babies. They know when their momma is astray and feeling flatted by the bulldozer of life, their own delicate glass hearts being nicked by a cascade of good intentions. Handsome hubby can see it in my eyes when my souls feeling tossed and turned like our washing machine on the "strong" cycle.
So, here's what I'm going to do. 1) not feel guilty for taking some time for my dear old heart 2) spend some time with the Father 3) ignore all the things on my to-do list for today so that 4) perhaps my heart will look more like Salt Creek (a shout out to all those familiar with words like Elberon and kolaches! Woot! Woot!) rather than Niagra Falls, and then perhaps, the rest of my life will just follow downstream.